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Fearless Venezuelan Bond Holders Make Mammoth Investment in Kakhovka Dam

July 12, 2023 – Demonstrating their reliable nose for opportunity, major investors in Venezuelan bonds surged into a bond underwriting for the Kakhovka dam in southern Ukraine. The dam investment is considered risky, as the dam has ceased to exist. When journalists from F$JNews reached out, analysts at Southern Trust and PriceY refused comment.

MRSA in her office
MRSA in her office

However, RedStick Corp’s Distressed Assets Fund Manager was willing to sit down for a face-to-face interview. As readers probably know, RedStick’s Marie Ronaldo Santos Acevedo (known in the industry as MRSA for her ability to survive in hostile environments), is probably the most prominent distressed-debt investor in the world.

When we asked her about her unorthodox methods of losing massive sums of investor money she explained, “People write things off entirely too early. Challenge isn’t failure and they aren’t aware that there is often significant value left on the table. You just need to have the patience, perseverance and fortitude to see it through.”

While her $23 billion dollar holdings in Venezuelan bonds are facing imminent default as well as widespread criticism for the debt payments’ contributions to Venezuela’s widespread poverty and hunger, MRSA insists that RedStick will see a reasonable return on her Venezuelan holdings. She adds that Venezuelan suffering will not be resolved by default. Instead, “it can ultimately only be resolved by reinforcing the financial stability and respectability of the country’s entirely incompetent and abusive government.”

Changing the subject to her latest investment, MRSA argued that “the Kakhovka Dam was producing over 10% of Ukraine’s electricity and was responsible for irrigation that supported some of the most fertile lands in the world. The economic value of the dam was easily in the tens of billions of dollars one week ago. We bought our position for effectively pennies on the dollar. What could possibly happen in the space of one week that would erase that value?”

When this journalist showed her that all that remained of the Kakhovka Dam was satellite imagery of where it used to be, she said only, “Oh, shit. Not again.”


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