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Alien Offers Exclusive Course in Intergalactic Accounting

Famed Betelgeusian accounting and finance specialist Prof. BeeBooBee has decided to offer its intergalactically famous Intergalactic Accounting & Finance 101 course to mere Earthlings.

Prof. BeeBooBee reached out F$JNews to share a bit about its unique offering.

Intergalactic Accounting Specialist Prof. BeeBooBee
Intergalactic Accounting Specialist Prof. BeeBooBee

“Prof. BeeBooBee, why offer this course now?”

“Well, there are really two reasons. First, you’re actually beginning to notice what’s going on around you. Pretty soon, you’re going to have to take the intergalactic world very seriously and you are seriously unprepared. Second, you are beginning to take off-planet activities somewhat seriously. Combine these two elements and there is going to be serious need for some serious accounting.”

“Why accounting? Why not, say, Faster Than Light engineering?”

“Why? Because FTL is simple, basic, stuff. You’ll get it and that’s it. Job done. Intergalactic finance and accounting – that stays seriously complex. Just consider: Earth finance is focused on the time-value of money. Well, intergalactic accounting and finance are focused on the space-time-value of money. It is like comparing Euclidian geometry with non-Euclidian geometry – except almost infinitely more serious.”

“Can you give us a specific example of the challenges involved in intergalactic accounting?”

“Sure. What effect do black holes – with their impact on the bending of the space-time continuum – have on depreciation schedules? Maybe you think Earthling pension accounting is nuts? Well, try bending in the impact of relativistic aging! Three years pass for the company, but 40 for the recipient. I mean that gets real serious real fast. Or how about this? How do you factor in currencies conversions when planets are tens of light-years apart from each other. Do you convert at some absolute point in time or do you calculate on the basis of one planet’s place in the continuum? Again, serious stuff.”

“What one word would you use to describe intergalactic accounting?

“Seriously Serious.”

That’s two words.”

“Okay, then just serious.”

“Finally, where can people register for your course?”

“We’ll be offering the course at SpaceX University. The price is only 3,995 Betelgeusian Flanges. Anybody who can correctly work out how much that is in U.S. Dollars is automatically granted admission.”

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