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Liam Johnson, Age 3, New CEO of Bendi Co.

The business world was shocked today when Liam Johnson, an otherwise unknown 3-year-old was promoted to the role of CEO with the leading manufacturer and distributor of bendy things, Bendi Co.

The Board of Directors took the unusual step after realizing Liam Johnson takes fewer naps, plays less golf and was willing to accept more of his payment in cookies than the prior CEO.

Liam Johnson, CEO
Liam Johnson, CEO

In the wake of this news, F$JNews journalists managed to interview the Non-Executive Chairman of Bendi Co., Mr. Fle Xi.

“A highly regarded trait in a conventional CEO is the ability to get people working together to accomplish great things. Liam Johnson can barely talk. How can he perform this function?”

“You should see how he has his parents wrapped around his fingers. He is simply excellent at getting people to do what he wants. Plus, in order to ensure what he wants is in line with the company needs, we have an aggressive cookie-based bonus schedule. If the company share price goes up enough, he can basically eat cookies until he pukes.”

“What about strategic vision? Can a 3-year-old with no experience provide that?”

“Let’s not get too big for our britches. We make bendy things, okay? We want to make and sell more of them. The way we see it, Liam can just play with them on YouTube and we’ll have our marketing taken care of. On the design and production side, it isn’t like our prior CEO paid much attention to nitty gritty details. The fact is, we’ve got a great team and having somebody with the attention span of a 3-year-old at the top is hardly unheard in any industry.”

Don’t CEOs need to have consistency in their decision-making?”

“You’re joking, right?”

“One final question, are Liam’s parents on board with his new role – and all those cookies?”

“Oh, absolutely. They think being the CEO of Bendi Co. is the perfect work experience for a kid his age. They hope that in another 20 years this job will qualify him for a real role, like as a Starbucks barista.”

As of posting, Bendi Co’s shares (SQGL) are up 5%.

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