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Liam Johnson, Age 3, New CEO of Bendi Co.

The business world was shocked today when Liam Johnson, an otherwise unknown 3-year-old was promoted to the role of CEO.

COO Sees ‘Face of Business’ During LSD Trip

“I suddenly understood everything. The whole organization was like a living organism before my eyes… I understood what factors had the largest impact on the business – even the non-obvious ones. I could see past the existing data and into the truth of the corporation. I could sense redundancies and inefficiencies and picture the effects of remediating them. I could understand the implications of every decision I could make. It was a pure business revelation.”

Business Bankrupted Nanoseconds after Unlocking Synergies

June 14, 2023 – Analysts were shocked by the sudden bankruptcy declaration of Occidental-MIU Ltd. only nanoseconds after the much-heralded merger of the 183-year-old Occidental News Corp and the 3-month-old MIU Ltd. Over the intervening weeks, we at F$JNews have…

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