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Chinese Communist Party Creating Zombie Virus to Fill Zombie Cities

In their latest attempt at population engineering, Chinese Communist Party (CCP) scientists in the city of Kangbashi have been working on perfecting a new zombie virus. Kangbashi is famous as one of China’s ‘zombie’ cities with only 10% of its high-rise residents actually occupied by living people. The rest of the city is a partially finished wasteland.

Chinese Zombie in a Zombie City
Chinese Zombie in a Zombie City

Kangbashi City Chief Scientist Woh Stomenow explains the desire for a new zombie virus: “All across China there are vast empty apartment buildings. The media calls these ‘Zombie Cities’. The fact is, we need zombie people to bring, uh, life, to these undead places. And, of course, these zombies could bring much needed tax revenue to otherwise bankrupt municipalities and provinces.”

In Yumen Town, scientists are working on an alternative proposal – a ghost virus for a ghost city. “We all saw the consequences of the One Child Policy: not enough children to support a rapidly aging population. That’s why scientists in Wuhan developed the COVID-19 – to replace the One Child Policy with a new No Parent Policy. That effort was remarkably successful, grinding our international competitors to a halt while clearing out human deadwood from China itself. We just want to take the next natural step.”

Prof. Stomenow believes the Kangbashi proposal is far more practical, “The fact is, China is officially an entirely materialist Communist society. Ghosts are simply not politically acceptable.” 

When this reporter raised moral qualms about the zombie proposal Prof. Stomenow explained that she sees no issues: “Look at just one side-effect of the One-Child Policy, the lack of girls being born. We are successfully addressing that through the abduction and enslavement of Vietnamese women. Some of these women have described their lives as a living death. Our Great Leader has shown that he implicitly supports these sorts of policies as necessary for the Chinese Dream to succeed. Because of that, I am confident our Zombie Virus will be embraced by the central government in Beijing.”

Of course, the CCP has a history of less-than-successful population engineering programs including The Great Leap Forward, which killed an estimated 35 million people. When F$JNews raised questions about the potential unintended consequences of mass population engineering, the response was universal and consistent: “We’re Communists. Clumsy, violent and ultimately destructive centrally planned action is what we do.

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